Can You Handle Weight Loss Success
24 Hour Fitness recently interviewed Dr. Edward Abramson, a clinical
psychologist who specializes in body image, about the topic of weight loss
success. He is the author of Body Intelligence: Lose Weight, Keep it
off and Feel Great About your Body Without Dieting, due out in
September, 2005 from McGraw-Hill.
Do people who’ve lost weight have a difficult time seeing
themselves as slim?
“Body image is resistant to change. People who lose weight see
themselves and conduct themselves as though they were still heavy. If they
are in a narrow space, they might leave enough room for a protruding
stomach that is no longer there. I don’t know how long it actually takes
to get comfortable with a new body image, but in the meantime you can
learn to accept the fact that your perceptions about your body may not
accurately reflect the reality of your body.”
What are some things that make it hard to deal with weight loss
success?
“One woman told me that she started going to a gym and working out
frequently. As she started losing weight and her body took on more
definition, she noticed that guys were checking her out and she was a
little uncomfortable with that at first.
In another case, two sisters had a lengthy history of struggling with
their weight. They were fairly close, talking on the phone about recipes,
diets that they tried and lapses in their dieting. They commiserated with
each other. One of the sisters joined a gym and started losing weight. The
other sister became kind of jealous and started making negative comments
to her sister who’d lost weight.”
Is weight loss sometimes sabotaged?
“Yes, for various reasons. In a marital or romantic relationship
there may be an equilibrium that is established over time. Take for
example a marriage where a husband smokes or drinks and does not get
promoted and his wife is overweight. If she then upsets the equilibrium by
losing weight, there is implicit pressure on him to make progress in his
own areas of struggle.
Another reason that someone may not want their partner to lose weight:
Let’s say one person is angry and has a difficult time talking about
their feelings, so they badger the other person for having a piece of
apple pie. If their partner loses weight, then they no longer have that
means to control or express hostility.
Or someone may nag their partner, saying ‘You don’t look as good as
you used to,’ but then when their partner begins to lose weight they may
resist, not feeling ‘good enough’ for them any more. One woman told me
that her husband was actually feeding her off his plate. He felt
threatened when she lost weight and did his best to undo her weight
loss.”
What is characteristic of people who lose weight and keep it
off?
“Consumer Reports stated that out of 32,000 readers, 4000
readers were able to maintain weight loss (an average of 37 pounds) for
five or more years. They associated their success with self-directed
lifestyle changes. I define it as body intelligence.
- Know why you’re eating
- Develop an active lifestyle as part of a routine
- Have a healthy body image
Hating the way that you look is not a useful strategy for motivation.
Even if you have a long way to go, find things about your body that you
like. Hating your body can become a habit – it’s demoralizing and
drains energy needed to make changes.”
How can people prepare themselves mentally for the positive
attention (and perhaps negative) that they will get after losing weight?
“I encourage people to deal with these problems head on. The wife can
say ‘I am getting mixed messages from you, you want me to lose weight
and you’re bringing home chocolate.’ The sister can say, ‘Yes I lost
weight and yes I enjoy aerobics.’ Identify the problem and put the ball
back in the other person’s court.
If you’re going to make a change, brace yourself. If the comment
doesn’t hurt, just shrug it off or change the topic. If it’s
worthwhile, prepare yourself with responses to potential comments.”
SOURCE: Dr. Edward Abramson, clinical psychologist in Lafayette,
California and author who’s frequently quoted in national publications
and has appeared on television. Abramson is considered an authority on the
‘why’ of weight gain.
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